YMUG Newsletter – 2016/09/03
Tony Crockford: firstname.lastname@example.org
Chris Brady: email@example.com
with help from: Anzir Boodoo and Tim Pinder. Thanks also to Ian Thomas, Martin Pickering and Brendan Rowland who send me items of interest.
Items for the newsletter . . . reviews, rants, raves, revelations and reflections to: Jerad Zimmermann, your participatory social mores editor: firstname.lastname@example.org
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NEXT YMUG MEETING:
Well, the meeting on the 13th went pretty well. Bob has given me a lot of material to go along with his talk and I’ve put it up ‘in the cloud’ (in this case on Google’s servers, linked to a Google mail account I set up for YMUG) including his presentation outline, iMovie, tutorial materials for iDVD and Audacity and lots of other stuff. Chris Brady typed up some notes during the meeting and I’ve included those as well. Have a look:
Let me know if you have any trouble with the link or the material.
Here’s a list of some topics that Steve or I can talk about for our next meeting:
iTunes (its uses and abuses),
Cloud based sync and backup services,
using text expansion (in-built and specialist apps),
Automator.(what it is and isn’t how to build an automation workflow/service/app),
a look at Preview and what you can do with it,
general productivity apps and approaches – to do lists, note taking, etc,
security basics (passwords & password management, touch ID, encryption incl. File Vault, ZIP passwords, document passwords, etc., being safe online, phishing, etc).
Let me know (email@example.com) if any of the topics are of particular interest. Or if there’s something else you’d like to learn about.
I figure the next meeting should be ‘up North’ so . . . Bedale okay with everyone? Sometime in December or January? I want to wait until the newest version of OS X/macOS and iOS 10 arrive.
APPLE V EU
You’ve probably already heard about the kerfuffle over Apple’s tax arrangement with Ireland. There are other big American high tech companies that also have ‘deals’ but people do like picking on Apple. One thing I don’t understand is why Apple is liable at all. If anyone broke the EU rules it’s Ireland. Surely, as far as Apple is concerned, they were dealing with a sovereign nation able to set its own tax rules. Here’s some news stories.
Could Apple help destroy the EU?
Tim Cook says the EU ruling is rubbish.
Apple has also published a FAQ list for investors.
Wall Street isn’t that worried.
Not everyone, including some Apple fans, don’t see things Tim Cook’s way.
OS X AND MAC STUFF
OS X 10.11 (El Capitan), 10.10 (Yosemite) and Safari got an import security update this week.
Save for later: all the options for booting up your Mac (things like Target Disc Mode and Safe Mode).
No doubt you’ve installed an app or two using some kind of installer you downloaded. Some of them come as .PKG files. There’s a nifty new bit of software called Suspicious Package that helps you figure out what’s actually in a .PKG file and where it’s going to install stuff. Suspicious Package is free.
If you’d like to help Apple develop new features for Safari then you should be using Safari Technology Preview. I do and I haven’t had a bit of problems with it. Besides, you don’t have to get rid of Safari, you can use both!
If you’d like to schedule when some emails are sent you might like Mail Butler. It does some other stuff too.
How to copy a screenshot directly to the clipboard and some other screenshot tips.
Some ways of converting Word documents to PDFs, with and without MS Office.
If you’ve got a Windows partition on your Mac (as I do) then being able to work with Windows files could be important. You need something like Paragon NTFS.
OpenOffice may be in trouble. It doesn’t have enough people working on updates and security fixes.
Warning! Apple is having some kind of iPhone event on the 7th of September. Expect slow-downs on the internet for a few days afterwards.
And what new features many people expect the iPhone 7 to have.
The potential ’Touch Disease’ that can affect iPhone 6 and 6s’s hasn’t been addressed by Apple yet and iFixit is not going to let them forget the issue.
Apple is (finally) going to start culling apps from The App Store.
I probably already ‘knew’ this but . . . how to teach Maps and Siri where your home is.
Alto Mail is another alternative to Mail for your iOS device.
I use a tempered glass screen protector on my iPhone 6 which I got from eBay for about £1. If you’d like something even more robust then check out Zagg’s InvisibleShield Sapphire Defense.
Oh wow, there IS a point to having an Apple Watch: you can use it as a remote for Apple TV.
WWW = WEIRD, WONDERFUL AND WHY
Since the 1st you are supposed to have a TV license to use the BBC’s iPlayer service. But, can the BBC enforce the new rule?
Samsung is recalling all its Galaxy Note 7 phones that were just introduced a couple of weeks ago. I have seen some pretty horrendous pictures of ones that have partially melted.
Jessica Alba is very pretty, some think she can act. Despite the fact that she hasn’t shown any talent for software development she is going to be one of the mentors on Apple’s Planet of the Apps programme.
Who were the ten worst Britons in history?
Robberies, assaults, thefts, driving incidents . . . sounds like a Friday night in Leeds but it’s also the kinds of things that happen when people play Pokemon GO.
America, home of the brave and, in some states, illegal selfies in the voting booth.
America, also the home of fish pet-sitting services who sue fish owners who leave them 1-star Yelp reviews.
Despite what Tim likes, some of us are starting to think about Christmas presents. Here’s a backpack that has a network of charging cables and pockets for various devices. You have to buy the charging battery separately.
Here’s another good idea for a present: a lost-and-found tracking device the size of a fat credit card.
How about a gold-plated Sony Walkman?
A wooden child’s rocker that looks like the original starship Enterprise?
September 3rd is the 247th day of this leap year and is also Merchant Navy Day in the UK so hug a sailor if you can.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to: actor Alan Ladd (b 1913, d 1964 . . . He was young), novelist Alison Lurie (b 1926), Irene Papas (b 1926), American gangster Whitey Bulger (b 1929 . . . Wow, he’s still alive!), Sex Pistol Steve Jones (b 1955), Charlie Sheen (b 1965).
Rest in peace these folks who died on September 3rd: Oliver Cromwell (b 1599, d 1658), e e cummings (b 1894, d 1962), Vince Lombardi (b 1913, d 1970), Beryl Markham (b 1902, d 1986), Frank Capra (b 1897, d 1991), Jane Tomlinson (b 1964, d 2007), Sun Myung Moon (b 1920, d 2012),
Some notable events that took place on September 3rd: Richard I is crowned (1189), Richard Cromwell becomes Lord Protector of England (1658), the Royal Exchange burns down during the Great Fire of London (1666), the US and the Kingdom of Great Britain sign the Treaty of Paris ending the American War of Revolution (1783), Frederick Douglass escapes from slavery (1838), over 640 people die when the boats Princess Alice and Bywell Castle collide in the Thames (1878), France, the UK, Australia and New Zealand declare war on Germany (1939), the Allied invasion of Italy begins (1943), Anne Frank and her family are put on the train to Auschwitz (1944), Nino Farina becomes the first Formula One Drivers’ champion (1950), Swedish drivers switch from driving on the left to driving on the right overnight (1967).
“Here’s something that’s contrary to popular belief: I actually don’t like thinking. I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don’t. I do not like to think at all.”
— Kanye West
“She’s totally bigoted. There’s no question about that.”
— Donald Trump on Hillary Clinton
“He hasn’t changed his immigration position. He has changed the words he is saying.”
— Trump spokesperson Katrina Pierson
“We did discuss the wall, we didn’t discuss payment of the wall. That will be at a later date.”
— Donald Trump on his meeting with Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto
“At the beginning of the conversation with Donald Trump I made it clear that Mexico will not pay for the wall…I was clear and emphatic that Mexico will not pay for the wall.”
— Pena Nieto, responding to Trump’s account of their meeting
“If you’re running for president, you should not be allowed to use a teleprompter.”
— Donald Trump, August 2015
A man identified only by his surname “Li” was flying from Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport in China to Beijing. He had a little trouble when security screeners x-rayed a sack he picked up from Burger King. “There’s no turtle in there, just a hamburger,” Li told screeners. “There’s nothing special to see inside.” Naturally, they then wanted to see inside. Li had, they say, put his “beloved” pet turtle in the bun to smuggle it onto the flight with him. Li wasn’t charged with a crime, but wasn’t allowed to take the turtle on the plane, either; a friend agreed to take care of it. (RC/London Telegraph)
According to the Volusia County (Fla.) Sheriff’s Office, Regina Powell, 22, was “foolishly playing” with her uncle’s .40-caliber pistol in the garage while recording a video of herself using Snapchat. Powell had her finger on the trigger and it went off, shooting the cell phone she was using to record the video. The phone shattered, causing lacerations on her right thumb and index finger. Her aunt heard the gunshot and took Powell to the hospital. The aunt told deputies that she threw the gun out of the car as they drove. The gun has not been found. (MS/WKMG Orlando)
(Another one of those stories you hope is true but probably isn’t.)
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.
Family Member: ‘I am calling to tell you she died back in January.’
Citibank: ‘ The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’
Family Member: ‘Maybe you should turn it over to collections.’
Citibank: ‘Since it is two months past due, it already has been.’
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?’
Citibank: ‘Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!’
Family Member: ‘Do you think God will be mad at her?’
Family Member:’Did you just get what I was telling you – the part about her being dead?’
Citibank: ‘Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.’
(Supervisor gets on the phone:)
Family Member: ‘I’m calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.’
Citibank: ‘ The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.’
Family Member: ‘You mean you want to collect from her estate?’
Citibank: (Stammer) ‘Are you her lawyer?’
Family Member: ‘No, I’m her great nephew.’ (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank:’Could you fax us a certificate of death?’
Family Member: ‘Sure.’ (Fax number was given)
(After they get the fax:)
Citibank:’Our system just isn’t setup for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.’
Family Member: ‘Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won’t care.’
Citibank:’Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.’
Family Member: ‘Would you like her new billing address?’
Citibank: ‘That might help….’
Family Member: ‘ Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.’
Citibank: ‘Sir, that’s a cemetery!’
Family Member: ‘And what do you do with dead people on your planet???’
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you!
Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why do you drive down a parkway but park in a driveway?
I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
Why is everything delivered by a ship called cargo but if it’s delivered by a car it’s a shipment?
I moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later. ”
When I die, I want my tombstone to be a WiFi hotspot……that way people will visit more often.
Why do they call it a hot water heater when you don’t have to heat hot water?
What happens when you get scared half to death twice?
A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He said, “Call for backup.”
(I wasn’t able to verify this but it’s delightful anyway.)
To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan ‘s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was “My Favorite Things”
from the legendary movie “Sound Of Music”. Here are the lyrics she used:
Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Cadillac’s and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things.
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin’,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,
And we won’t mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.
When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I’ve had,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
At the National Art Gallery in Cardiff, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willy.
The curator of the gallery realised that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society.
‘In fact’, he pointed out, ‘some serious critics believe that the pink willy also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society’.
After the curator left, a Welshman approached the couple and said, Would you like to know what the painting is really about?’
‘Why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?’, asked the couple.
‘Because I’m the bloke who painted the picture,’ he replied. ‘In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They’re just three Welsh coal miners and the guy in the middle went home for lunch.’
A husband and wife were in bed watching tv. The husband had the remote in hand switching back and forth between the porn and fishing channels. The wife got angry, grabbed the remote and kept it on the porn channel and said to hubby.. “Leave it on the porn channel you already know how to fish.”
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Ryan”
Cabbie: “Ryan Jay Robinson. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Ryan Jay Robinson, every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Ryan Jay Robinson. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Ryan Jay Robinson, he could do everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow. Some guy then.”
Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Ryan, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Ryan Jay Robinson.”
Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”
Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Ryan. He died. I’m married to his widow.”
I guess summer is over. Sigh. Welcome to Yorkshire.