YMUG Newsletter – 2017/01/15
Best Supporting Acting Secretaries:
Tony Crockford: firstname.lastname@example.org
Chris Brady: email@example.com
with help from: Anzir Boodoo and Tim Pinder. Thanks also to Ian Thomas, Martin Pickering and Brendan Rowland who send me items of interest.
Items for the newsletter . . . reviews, rants, raves, revelations and reflections to: Jerad Zimmermann, your participatory social mores editor: firstname.lastname@example.org
Join mactalk – YMUG’s official email list discussion group.
You’ll get approximately 5 or 6 emails a day and can have ‘instant’ discussions on Mac related issues. And other stuff, we’re flexible.
To subscribe (FREE) to the group, send a blank email to: email@example.com and then confirm membership when you receive an automated reply from the group,
If you have any difficulty, please contact Tony Crockford, he’s very nice, smart too. – firstname.lastname@example.org
And another thing . . . Jo Morris-Turner has taken it upon herself to write up some mactalk posting guidelines. They sound pretty good to me and they make a lot of sense. If you’d like to read them I’ve put them into my Dropbox public folder: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/1799495/MACTALK%20POSTINGS%20ETIQUETTE.doc
OS X AND MAC STUFF
The US consumer advocacy group Consumer Reports has now given the new Macbook Pros a ‘buy’ recommendation after working with Apple and discovering that a bug and a Consumer Reports Safari setting jiggered their previous results.
Backup utility Super Duper! has been updated to macOS Sierra.
Some now hidden preferences you can change via Terminal or Tinker Tool that might help speed up your Mac.
I just grabbed Tinker Tool again (it’s been around a while but I haven’t looked at it in ages) and the guy who wrote it has some other nice software.
Someone has made an app that will deactivate your iSight camera which is probably a bit more elegant than putting tape over it.
Oh dear, Google let Adobe bundle some browser extensions into a security update for Chrome. Tisk, tisk.
And Google has put ride sharing service Uber into Google Maps. Convenient, true but it’s all getting far too creepy.
A week ago tomorrow the iPhone turned 10 years old.
We’ve all done it: you’ve set your iPhone down in the house somewhere . . . you would just ‘ring it’ but you set it on silent mode for some reason. Now what? Using Find My iPhone you can get your errant device to make a noise. Not a lot of people know that.
Looks like the best place to get a new iPhone is Angola. Really? I guess that doesn’t include transport costs.
A court in the US has decided that Apple can be sued for . . . wait for it . . . monopolising the iPhone App market. I’m so glad I don’t live there anymore.
China has decided that Pokemon GO! might be a security risk so it’s blocked for the time being.
The US Federal Aviation Administration has decided that since about 96% of Samsung Galaxy Note 7s have been returned they don’t need to post notices about they’re being verboten on planes. I do wonder about that last 4% . . . people keeping them as collector’s items?
WWW = WEIRD, WONDERFUL AND WHY
A personal plug here: Hidden Figures is a film (released in the UK on February 17th) about a group of black women ‘computers’ that helped launch America into space. It’s real history with some real mathematics. I got the book for Christmas.
The UK’s new Investigatory Powers Act is not going down well with human rights group Liberty.
Voyager 1 and 2 are carrying the oldest working computers not on earth. They have 69.63 kilobytes of memory.
And they are running some pretty old languages, NASA has trouble replacing team members because no one knows FORTRAN any more.
The oldest working computers on earth might be the ones still used in nuclear missile silos in the US. How’s that for scary?
Good news from El Salvador: they had a day this last week when no one was murdered.
Hungry and feeling a bit nostalgic? How about a nice pie with the movie Tron logo but one that actually glows?
Or, if you really want to mix your metaphors: the Queen song Bohemian Rhapsody played on a century old fairground organ.
A man dressed as Darth Vader, shovelling snow while riding on a unicycle and playing flaming bagpipes? I’m working hard here you know!
January 15th is the 15th day of the year and is Korean Alphabet Day (in North Korea, they sure know how to have a good time there eh?) and Wikipedia Day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to: playwright Moliere (b 1622, d 1673), child author Marjorie Fleming (b 1803, d 1811 . . . I saw her on Wikipedia’s list and was intrigued enough to look her up; compiling this list is always interesting because I frequently learn about people I’ve never heard of before), song writer Ivor Novello (b 1893, d 1951), the filthy rich Aristotle Onassis (b 1906, d 1975), father of the H-bomb Edward Teller (b 1908, d 2003), drummer Gene Krupa (b 1909, d 1973), actor Lloyd Bridges (b 1913, d 1998), historian Hugh Trevor-Roper (b 1914, d 2003), are you now being served Frank Thornton? (b 1921, d 2013), Martin Luther King Jr (b 1929, d 1968), metallurgist (?) and politician Margaret Beckett (b 1943), Princess Michael of Kent (b 1945), Strictly Claudia Winkleman (b 1972), tennis player Mary Pierce (b 1975).
Rest in peace these folks who died on January 15th: Emma, Lady Hamilton (b 1761, d 1815), photographer Mathew Brady (b 1822, d 1896), the scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz Ray Bolger (b 1904, d 1987), one of the best pop singers ever Harry Nilsson (b 1941, d 1994), billiards player Minnesota Fats (b 1913, d 1996), lovely actress Susannah York (b 1939, d 2011), the wonderful Roger Lloyd-Pack (b 1944, d 2014).
Some notable events that took place on January 15th: Elizabeth I is crowned Queen of England (1559), the British Museum opens (1759), the Pemberton Medicine Company (later renamed The Coca-Cola Company) is incorporated (1889), the first Super Bowl (US football) is played (1967), Gaddafi is proclaimed premier of Libya (1970), Wikipedia goes online (2001).
“The world was gloomy before I won — there was no hope.”
— Donald Trump
“Need further proof that the fix was in from Pres. Obama on down? BUSTED: 19,252 emails from DNC leaked by WikiLeaks.”
— tweet from Rep. Mike Pompeo, July 24, 2016
“Do you think WikiLeaks is a reliable source of information?”
— Sen. Angus King, in hearing yesterday
“I do not.”
— Mike Pompeo
“All the dress shops are sold out in Washington. It’s hard to find a great dress for this inauguration.”
— Donald Trump
“We have 200 dresses, if not more, in stock.”
— Mae Shipe, owner of Mae’s Dress Boutique
“There’s never been less demand for inaugural ball gowns in my 38 years.”
— Peter Marx, owner of Saks Jandel
I haven’t lost my mind! It’s just that half of it wandered off and the other half went looking for it.
Larry Harmel, 71, was arrested in Baltimore, Md., by an undercover police officer who was posing as a prostitute after he allegedly agreed to pay her for sex. The arrest led him to resign from his position — as the executive director of the Maryland Chiefs of Police Association. Harmel, a 30-year state trooper and a former police department chief, was arrested at the place where he took the officer for the deed: a graveyard. An attorney for the MCoPA noted Harmel is “a long, storied, exemplary law enforcement officer and public servant who’s got an unblemished career.” (RC/Baltimore Sun)
After a derailment of a Washington D.C. Metro train, track problems were the chief suspect. Investigators started talking to the track inspectors: policy requires tracks to be inspected twice a week, but many of the track inspectors couldn’t even answer basic questions about what their jobs entailed. Their inspection reports were falsified, investigators say. About half of Metro’s inspectors and supervisors have been fired, suspended without pay, or demoted due to “years” of “a disturbing level of indifference, lack of accountability, and flagrant misconduct,” says Metro General Manager Paul Wiedefeld. He also noted that no one turned off power to the electric third rail when the derailed train was evacuated, as emergency procedures dictate, putting passengers and rescuers at dire risk. Amalgamated Transit Union Local 689 President Jackie Jeter plans to appeal the firings, since “what they’ve done is not necessarily falsification in their mind.” (RC/WTOP Washington D.C.)
A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next check-up, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realised Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills.
“Mrs. Smith, do you are aware these are birth control pills?”
“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”
“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!”
She reached out and patted the young doctor’s knee and said, “Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year-old Granddaughter drinks. And believe me it definitely helps me sleep at night.”
Sign on a chain-link fence:
Is there life after death? Trespass here and find out
A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.
The baby wouldn’t take it so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”
Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.”
A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, “Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!”
Be decisive. Right or wrong make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.
(Apologies to any blondes who’ve made it this far but some of these are pretty funny. Thanks to Lesley for these by the way. A great collection.)
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, ‘Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?’
The other blonde turns and says ‘Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????’
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, ‘What’s the story?’
He replies, ‘Just crap in the carburettor’
She asks, ‘How often do I have to do that?’
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, ‘I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!’
There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank
‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts, ‘How can I get to the other side?’
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, ‘You ARE on the other side.’
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
‘Impossible!’ says the doctor.. ‘Show me.’
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, ‘You’re not really a redhead, are you?
‘Well, no’ she said, ‘I’m actually a blonde.’
‘I thought so,’ the doctor said, ‘Your finger is broken.’
(I love this one.)
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, ‘PULL OVER!’
‘NO!’ the blonde yelled back, ‘IT’S A SCARF!’
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!’
The American said, ‘We were the first on the moon!’
The Blonde said, ‘So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!’
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
‘You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!’ said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, ‘We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!’
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night… It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, ‘If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?’
She thought for a time and then asked, ‘Is it on or off?’
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, ‘Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?’
‘HELLLOOOOOOO……,’ answered the blonde. ‘They’re watch dogs’
I STILL have a cold. Sigh. I’m really sick of being sick now.