YMUG Newsletter – 2016/08/13
Tony Crockford: email@example.com
Chris Brady: firstname.lastname@example.org
with help from: Anzir Boodoo and Tim Pinder. Thanks also to Ian Thomas, Martin Pickering and Brendan Rowland who send me items of interest.
Items for the newsletter . . . reviews, rants, raves, revelations and reflections to: Jerad Zimmermann, your participatory social mores editor: email@example.com
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YMUG MEETING, CHANGE OF ADDRESS!
We’re going to have a video themed meeting in August in York. I’ve got Bob Rudd lined up to come and discuss various techniques and software you can use with OS X for creating and editing videos. And he will have some ‘goodies’ for you to take home if you bring along a 2Gb (or more) memory stick.
And the previous address I posted was incorrect. I got the wrong Red Lion. The ‘right’ one is actually in Upper Poppleton.
Date: August 13th, 2016
Venue: The Red Lion Pub, Boroughbridge Rd, Upper Poppleton YO26 6PR
Small donations towards the room hire gratefully accepted.
OS X AND MAC STUFF
On mactalk we frequently make the point that if you want to view a website with Flash content but you don’t want to load in the system-wide Flash plug-in use the Chrome browser which has Flash built in. By the end of this calendar year however you will have to tell Chrome to activate its own Flash plug-in.
Watch out boys, there’s a new art app in town: ArtRage. And it’s not hideously expensive.
You’ve seen the ads: internet service providers saying their customers get ‘up to’ some speed which you are not even coming close to. Well, the Local Government Association is trying to do something about the misleading ads. I’m not sure they can do anything about the slow speeds.
Droplr is kind of like DropBox and iCloud except it focuses on groups of people wanting to share files. It’s been around a while. Anyway, they must be needing to scare up some money what with all the free services now available and are offering a lifetime account for $22. Which is ridiculously cheap.
It is such a slow week for news that I am going to include something about macOS Sierra (coming to a Mac near you this Autumn) which is pretty cool. When (or if) you update, you’ll be able to search your photos in Photos by objects and scenery.
Not that you’ll be able to buy it (let alone afford it) but Seagate is working on a 60 TB solid state drive.
How to delete documents and data stored by apps in iOS. Hint: delete the app and reload it. There’s some other ideas as well.
Normally I don’t bother you with rumours of stuff that hasn’t been released but, if you’re interested, here’s a compilation off all the stuff (we think) we know about the next iPhone due out soon.
Impress your grandkids, show them how to download videos from YouTube. They’ll be telling all their friends how cool you are.
Netflix has released an app (which complements its fast.com website) which will check your download speeds. I couldn’t actually find it in the UK app store so we may have to wait once again. Sigh.
A US security firm is offering big bucks to anyone who can find security flaws in iOS and other operating systems.
Mobile provider 3 is offering ‘same as home’ roaming charges across most of Europe IF you sign up for one of their perk programs. Which isn’t really a ‘normal’ cost then is it?
WWW = WEIRD, WONDERFUL AND WHY
It’s been a slow week for OS X and iOS news so I’m including more than the usual weird, wonderful and why items.
Facebook v ad blockers. Maybe not of interest to you but this kind of battle is setting some precedence for much more to come in my opinion.
The first website went public 25 years ago. Remember the Mosaic browser?
A somewhat technical discussion of why allowing a ‘back door’ into an operating system has proved embarrassing to Microsoft.
Some official Olympic Games apps. I do like the cycling. Go Sir Wiggo!!
Last year over 35,000 computers used by the Met were still running Windows XP which even Microsoft has abandoned. And while we approve loyalty we might be a bit more encouraged if they didn’t still have about 27,000 computers severely behind the times despite a promise to update.
Oh dear. “A doctor’s surgery in Hertfordshire has been fined £40,000 by the UK’s privacy watchdog for giving out personal medical information in breach of data law.”
Those whacky Brits, you know who you are. One of you is cycling the length of Britain in his front room via a virtually reality headset and Google Street View. Actually . . . I might do that if I could.
You’ll have to read the article to get the full story but a couple in Kansas are continually identified as criminals by law enforcement agencies because of a GPS rounding error.
I don’t need a self-driving car, I’m sure of it. Unless I’m having a heart attack, then it could be very useful as a man in Missouri found out.
More Pokemon GO news . . . if you care. Many people don’t. There’s no shame in that. Not from me anyway.
The app now warns you not to play while you’re driving.
A very funny Dyson vacuum cleaner advertisement.
Hey world travellers, have I got the kit for you! A motorised luggage bag! That’s the good news. The bad news is it will cost more that your trip . . . unless you have an extra $1200 to burn.
I don’t want to cast aspersions on anyone’s private practices so I won’t condemn owners of sex toys but surely you’ve got to be pretty stupid to buy ones connected to the internet.
The question is: did the dolphin want the iPad or was it fed up with people looking at their screens instead of it?
Some good, inexpensive compact cameras.
If I were a woman I would so want this glow-in-the-dark constellations dress. Although my friends would probably point out how inaccurate it is. They’re like that. Precise and pedantic.
August 13th is the 226th day of this leap year (which means it’s an Olympic Games year and a US Presidential election year) and is also International Lefthanders Day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to: Annie Oakley (b 1860, d 1926), John Logie Baird (b 1888, d 1946), Bert Lahr who played the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz (b 1895, d 1967), Alfred Hitchcock (b 1899, d 1980), Fidel Castro (b 1926), Bernard Manning (b 1930, d 2007), soprano Kathleen Battle (b 1948), one of my favourites Dan Fogelberg (b 1951, d 2007), the author Peter Wright (b 1953), Paul Greengrass who directed the new film Jason Bourne which my nephew and I saw on Thursday (b 1955), 16 times World Darts Champion Phil Taylor (b 1960), former CIA agent Valerie Plame (b 1963), Alan Shearer (b 1970).
Rest in peace these folks who died on August 13th: Eugene Delacroix (b 1798, d 1863), Florence Nightingale (b 1820, d 1910), HG Wells (b 1866, d 1946), mountaineer Alison Hargreaves who died during an attempt at K2 (b 1963, d 1995), baseball legend Mickey Mantle (b 1931, d 1995), American TV chef Julia Child (b 1912, d 2004), Helen Gurley Brown (b 1922, d 2012),
Some notable events that took place on August 13th: Hernan Cortez and his merry bunch of conquistadors bring down the Aztec empire (1521), the union of Brittany and France (1532), Cardinal Richelieu is appointed Prime Minister of France (1624), King Louis XVI is arrested by the French National Tribune (1792), BMW is established (1918), the film Bambi is released (1942), East Germany closes the border between East and West Berlin (1961), Peter Allen and Gwynne Evans are the last people executed in the UK (1964), members of the British National Front clash with protestors in Lewisham (1977), the animated show South Park debuts (1997).
You can’t make Donald Trump sound worse than he really is:
“ISIS is honoring President Obama. He is the founder of ISIS…And I would say the co-founder would be crooked Hillary Clinton.”
— Donald Trump
“I have one of the great temperaments.”
— Donald Trump
The local newspaper in Atlantic City, N.J., ran two obituaries for the same man, Leroy “Blast” Black, featuring the same photo, one printed right after the other. The two obits for Black, who lived in Egg Harbor Township and died from lung cancer at 55, weren’t the result of a mistake: they were simply from different perspectives. “The wife wanted it one way,” said a spokesman for the the Greenidge Funeral Home, which was handling the arrangements, “and the girlfriend wanted it another way.” The first obit says Black is survived by “his loving wife,” while the second says he’s survived by “his longtime girlfriend.” (RC/Easton Express-Times)
Cpl. Shelby Riggs-Hopkins of the Orlando, Fla., Police stopped Daniel Rushing for speeding and failing to come to a complete stop. He was exiting the parking lot of a 7-Eleven store the officer was staking out for drug activity, she recorded in her report. “I recognised through my eleven years of training and experience,” her report says, that the substance she saw on the floorboard when he got out of his Chevy was “some sort of narcotic.” Rushing, 64, consented to a search of the car, and Riggs-Hopkins and her colleagues found more of the substance. Rushing claimed it was glaze from donuts, but when roadside drug tests showed it was crystal meth, he was arrested. Weeks later, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement tested the substance, and shortly thereafter, the charges were dropped: the substance turned out to be glaze from donuts. Orlando police say they do not track the use of roadside drug tests. (AC/South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Miami Herald)
Alexander Bernstein of New York, N.Y., was pulled over by state troopers in Pennsylvania as he was headed to Florida to visit his sister. Police searched his rented car and found two bundles of a white, powdery substance. Five-plus pounds of cocaine, they said, and two field drug-testing kits confirmed that accusation. No, Bernstein insisted: it was homemade soap for his sister. The troopers arrested him on charges of intent to deliver cocaine, possession of cocaine, conspiracy, and possession of drug paraphernalia, and Bernstein was jailed on $500,000 bond. He couldn’t afford that bond, so he sat in jail for 29 days — and lost his job, his apartment, and all of the contents of his apartment. The substance was soap. Bernstein, 33, sued the state police and the maker of the drug kit. The Pennsylvania State Police paid $195,000 to settle the case; the settlement with Safariland Inc., the manufacturer, has not been revealed. (RC/Allentown Morning Call)
“This Message is for Dyslexic Athiests: There is a Dog!” read the sign in front of the Christ Gospel Tabernacle Church in St. Clair Shores, Mich. “I saw it and I couldn’t believe it,” complained passerby Latoya Bond, a local school administrator. “I was offended by it. People who have dyslexia, they have a disability. It’s very insensitive to put something like this in the public eye.” When she complained to the church, she says, they told her “Moses in the Bible had a disability. He had a speech impediment. The purpose is to display that God can use all people no matter what their disability is.” But Bond “didn’t buy it” and remains offended. “I’m not offended by atheists, I’m offended by the word dyslexia.” (RC/WJBK Detroit)
I still have a full deck, I just shuffle slower.
Spare a thought for my friend who was diagnosed as mentally unstable when she was really just a bit giddy.
Been there, done that, can’t remember.
I don’t know much about medicine but I know what I like.
The mayor of town was visiting a local old folk’s home. He said “Good morning!” to one of the residents who looked a bit puzzled. So the mayor asked “Do you know who I am?”
And the resident said: “No, but you should ask the Matron, I’m sure she could help.”
(Olympic jokes submitted by children)
A book never written: “The Olympic Trials” by Willy Qualify.
Fan: I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What’s it for?
Athlete: It’s for telling knock knock jokes.
Fan: And what’s that gold medal for?
Athlete: For stopping.
Jack: What’s the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?
Jill: I haven’t a clue. What?
Tom Swiftie: “I like the Olympics!” Tom said gamely.
Seth: Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?
Will: I don’t know.
Seth: Because the players dribble all over the court!
Dan: Why does Cinderella never win the Olympics?
Dan: She has a pumpkin for a coach and runs away from the ball.
Daffynition: Olympiads — Commercials shown during the Summer and Winter Games.
A book never written: “Winter Olympic Sports” by Bob Sled.
Mike: Why is it so hot in a stadium after the Olympic games are over?
Andy: I don’t know.
Mike: Because all the fans have left!
Joe: What is a banana’s favourite gymnastics move?
Barbara: Beats me.
Joe: The splits!
A book never written: “How to Do Gymnastics” by Tom E. Tuck.
Tyler: How do fireflies start a race?
Ted: I don’t know. How?
Tyler: “On your mark. Get set. Glow!”
Zeke: Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics?
Kyle: I haven’t a clue.
Zeke: Because they couldn’t keep their trunks up!
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music?
Peter: Because he broke the record!
Jeffrey: Knock, knock.
Joseph: Who’s there?
Joseph: Woo, who?
Jeffrey: What are you cheering for? We didn’t win a medal.
A book never written: “How to Win at the Olympics” by Vick Tori.
Devan: Why did the spotted cat get disqualified from the Olympics?
Devan: It was a cheetah.
Teacher: Johnny, please use the word “account” in a sentence.
Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “On account of three, we’ll start the race.”
Jake: What did the hot dog say when it won a gold medal?
Jake: I’m a wiener!
Wyatt: Why can’t tomatoes win races against lettuce at the Summer Games?
Steven: Tell me.
Wyatt: Because the lettuce are always a head, and the tomatoes are always trying to ketchup!
Nathan: Why couldn’t the wolf run in the marathon?
Tim: I don’t know.
Nathan: He wasn’t a part of the human race!
Jack: Why couldn’t the bike finish the Olympic race?
Jack: It was two-tired.
A book never written: “The Marathon” by Will E. Makit.
Parker: What is the best part of an Olympic boxer’s joke?
Harper: Tell me.
Parker: The punch line.
A man came home from seeing the doctor and told his wife: “The doctor says I’m going to have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life.”
So the wife said: “That’s not so bad, lots of people our age need daily medication.”
And the husband replied: “I know, but the doctor only gave me four pills.”
(Probably a bit un-PC but . . . we’re all friends here . . . I hope)
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog’s ears.
He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell her that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the pharmacy and get some “Nair” hair remover and rub it in the dog’s ears once a month.
She went to the store and bought some “Nair” hair remover.
At the register, the pharmacist told her, “If you’re going to use this under your arms, don’t use deodorant for a few days.”
She said, “I’m not using it under my arms.
The pharmacist said, “If you’re using it on your legs, don’t use body lotion for a couple of days.”
She replied, “I’m not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I’m using it on my Schnauzer.”
The pharmacist said, “Well, stay off your bicycle for at least a week.
Gotta ferry my son someplace and then go to the meeting. My nephew might come along. Not sure. Hope to see lots of you at the Red Lion in Upper Poppleton!!
Oh, and can I just have a bit of a rant about the low attendance at some of the Olympic events? I’ve seen some venues with shockingly low numbers of spectators. I don’t blame the people of Brazil, it’s not a rich country.